What’s up with pronouns?

Have you looked at our schedule? You’ll find the class time, title, instructor AND the instructor’s pronouns if they wish to share them. You may have wondered “why?” If so, read on…

What’s up with the pronouns?

Very often, people make assumptions about the gender of another person based on the person’s appearance or name. These assumptions aren’t always correct, and the act of making an assumption (even if correct) can unintentionally send a potentially harmful message -- that people have to look a certain way to demonstrate the gender that they are or are not.

Using someone’s correct personal pronouns is a way to respect them and create an inclusive environment, just like using a person’s name can be a way to respect them. Just as it can be offensive or even harassing to make up a nickname for someone and call them that nickname against their will, it can be unintentionally offensive or harassing to guess at someone’s pronouns and refer to them using those pronouns if that is not how that person wants to be known. Or, worse, actively choosing to ignore the pronouns someone has stated that they go by could imply the dehumanizing notion that intersex, transgender, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming people do not or should not exist.

Sharing your pronouns opens the door for others to share with you

So, a great way to create and normalize space for people to share their pronouns is first to share your own. You can do this by saying, for example, “Hi, my name is Farida and I go by the pronoun ‘she’” or “I’m Yoshi and I’m referred to by ‘he/him’ pronouns.”

Sharing your own pronouns is a great idea, but it isn’t requisite. Keep in mind, however, that there is a privilege of appearing in a way that fits both your gender and the pronouns that many people associate with your gender. In other words, if people’s assumptions are correct, never having to name those assumptions begins to normalize the very process of making assumptions (which for others may be incorrect). Thus, sharing pronouns is a great way to disrupt the normalization and privilege of assumption.

Ok - so how does this work in the real world?

First, make sure that you have shared your own pronouns, if you’re comfortable letting them be known. Doing so is the best way to encourage other people to share their pronouns, to help make them more comfortable sharing with you.

If you are meeting someone new one-to-one, you might say something like: “Hi, I’m Akeem, and I go by ‘they’ pronouns. How should I refer to you?” We don’t recommend ever forcing people to share their pronouns. However, people could be invited or encouraged to do so. Thank you for doing your part to help create a welcoming space for all!

The information on use of pronouns is inspired and portions pulled with permission from mypronouns.org. Written by Shige Sakurai, a transgender person of color and a social justice leader, university administrator, professor, and consultant with two decades of community and professional experiences. They are the founder of International Pronouns Day and the first person in the U.S. to receive an officially nonbinary, X-marker driver’s license. We are grateful for Sakuri’s commentary and resources and their permissions to reshare some of their thoughtful guidance.